Future lights
by perfection.em
Summary: "The future is bright. Bright and shiny!" 6 months after the events of 'Wolverine and the X-Men' the school is reopened. Charles Xavier still is in a coma though. Jean is back with the X-Men and so is Warren. He is no longer Archangel and under the control of Sinister. Emma Frost is brought back to life, too, and now they all have to face a war coming.
1. Chapter 1: Here comes tomorrow

Disclaimer: The X-Men and all the other characters mentioned within the story belong to Marvel Comics - not the author - and are used without permission. The author makes absolutely no profit of this work of fanfiction and no copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter 1**

**Here comes tomorrow**

* * *

It looks like the future's really bright.

~ Michael P. Anderson ~

* * *

I wake up as I feel a sunbeam tickling my eyelids. Soft, warm - it feels like the sun is gently patting my face through the window. It's cozy under the blue satin covers of my bed and I decide to stay in bed for a little longer. I don't have anywhere to be today, so I tell myself that I have plenty of time to do so. Nonchalantly I fold my arms behind my head and a smile flits across my face, but I keep my eyes closed. I'm happy to be back together with the X-Men. Or more specifically: I'm happy to be _finally_ with the X-Men. I mean full time, 24/7. I'm no longer on my own in my penthouse apartment up in New York, moping around while my father tries everything possible to find an inoculation to suppress the X-Gene and to finally eradicate our 'disease'.

That's ridiculous. How many years have I actually spent with pitying myself and believing I was a freak just because _my father_ made me feel that way? The answer is: way too long. But I stopped and I developed a different point of view. _Charles Xavier_ played a huge role in helping me finding my way and I'm really thankful for that. He was the one to show me that my mutation is no curse but rather _a_ _gift_. A gift that allows me _to help_ other people. And that's what _I _have always wanted. My father, however, is the complete opposite of that. It has always been _his_ thought to 'help' me to live a normal life, not mine. He kept me secret from public ever since the day my wings started growing out of my back just to spare himself from embarrassment – he didn't want anybody to know that _he_, the great Warren Worthington II. , has _a_ _mutant_ for a son. And if you're wondering, - yes - I bear the same name as my father. He egoistic and selfish enough to give me exactly the same name he has. Call it a family tradition: His father's name was Warren Worthington I. . I wonder how long this pass-down-the-father's name-to-his-son-tradition will continue in our family and how many Warren Worthingtons there will be in the end. If I'll ever have a son, he will probably expect me to name him Warren Worthington IV. . Yeah, that's not going to happen though. I'll break this damn tradition. There's no way I'm going to honor my father.

A few years ago my father even incorporated a company for our family fortune's sake to find a so-called 'cure' for my mutation. He would have done anything to 'heal' me. He spent so much money on the best doctors and scientists. But in fact, it was always about _him_ and hisreputation – never about actually helping me. And after all these years, after all this time I acquiesced in his doing, he eventually had to pay for that.

_Archangel_ made him pay for that.

But I am no longer Archangel.

Just thinking of that makes me shiver again. I slightly open my eyes but squint as I look directly into the sun that has climbed its way up into the sky outside my window and now brightly lights up the room. I manage to sit up in my bed and stare out of the window for a few seconds. So many things have changed during the past six months. First, my whole life had been turned upside down. Then shaken around, squashed and crumpled up before finally slowly being put back together again with the help of my friends here.

I shake off old memories and get out of my bed. Then I take a few minutes to shower and to get dressed in casual fair: a pair of jeans and a plain dark blue T-shirt with slashes at the back. There is no need to dress up fashionably today.

I take a look at me in the mirror. I see my white wings and stretch them to their full length. After sleeping for so long, they now feel sore. I realize that I look more self-confident with my wings stretched out. Stronger. I take a deep breath. Then I look over my right shoulder and stroke some of the soft feathers with my hand. I sigh contently, happy with the fact that I have them back and no longer those metal wings Essex gave me after my damaged wings were cut off. I can call myself more than lucky that they grew back. And above all, I'm really grateful that I don't have to hide them under that heavy brown overcoat any longer. I don't have to hide anything when I'm around here. I finally get to be my true self. And everyone here accepts me as I am.

I pull the pale skin of my lower arm and take another brief look in the mirror. Luckily my skin possesses its normal color again. I no longer look like I have been dipped into a vat of blue dye. Instead my skin color is a normal, healthy peach.

But most importantly, I'm no longer Archangel. My mind is no longer controlled by Sinister. I'm finally free. Free like a bird.

I shake my head lightly to clear my thoughts. 'What am I going to do today?', I ask myself in order to think of something else and make some plans for the day. I can't think of anything that isn't too boring or that I haven't been doing for the last days. I've only been reunited with the X-Men for a week now. And the last couple of days I've mostly spent in my bed reading boring books and watching lame TV shows. The others won't let me do anything else yet because they think I need some more time to recover on coping with the incidents that happened to me during the past months. Storm's words – not mine. Maybe they are even planning on some counseling to make sure I don't go insane. So, I might have to correct myself: I'm actually not that free. Not yet. But at least I'm no longer around my father, nor Sinister. So that could probably be considered as freedom, I guess.

Storm really should stop worrying about me because I, myself, actually feel fine. At least good enough to walk around a bit and to make myself useful. I'm thinking of taking an hour later just to 'fly around the block'. I'm already starting to feel sick for staying too long on the ground. I always happen to feel sick when I spend several days in a row on the ground not using my wings at all. I feel free when I'm up in the air. If I'm grounded for too long, I get the feeling that I'm going to explode. The same feeling a caged bird perhaps has.

I turn to my right and take another longing look out of the window before I leave my room to find something to occupy myself. On my way through the hallway I encounter Storm. I'm more than happy to see her around. A little company was way overdue.

"Wonderful morning, isn't it?", I greet her with a bright smile on my face.

"Warren. Oh, you're out of bed?", Ororo frowns and puts on a concerned facial expression, "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

I laugh her concern off: "Ororo. Look at me. I'm fine! Staying in this room any longer will push me over the edge!"

"You don't like your room? You can move to a different one if you –".

"No -", I stop Ororo in midsentence and shake my head disagreeing. "My room is fine", I start again, "I just don't want to stay in bed all day any longer. I want to do something again! Make myself useful here at the institute…"

Ororo steps forward to touch my arm gently. "Warren, …", she still has that worried look on her face, "… why don't you give yourself a few more days to fully recover and –"  
"I _am_ fully recovered", I break in, "Ororo, I'm fine. Just …", I sigh, "please…don't let me sit in that room all day. Give me something to do or I'll go insane. I'm being serious. It doesn't even have to be that much of a big thing; just a teeny-weeny assignment would satisfy me." I try to look at her puppy-eyed - hopeful she will give in.

Ororo scrutinizes me but gives in after a few seconds: "Okay, fine. You win". I smile at her - probably as bright as a little kid that has just unwrapped its Christmas presents.

"But first go and have some breakfast."

"Fine, _Mom_", I say provocatively as I walk past her. I can't hold a laugh back as I walk down the corridor. I descend the large wooden stairs and glance around the grand hallway. The walls are nice and high. They finally seem to fill the campus. The institute was rebuilt a few months ago after it was destroyed in the blast about eighteen months ago. My dear father was the one to make that possible with a major investment. Can you actually believe that?  
He had no idea he was investing in a school for young mutants though. I left him under the impression that this was just a regular prep school at that time. I don't even care if he knows what is _really_ going on in the institute by now. I'll refuse to talk to him if he comes to see me here. Now – can somebody please get these thoughts about my reputation-caring father out of my head?

Maybe I'll stop thinking about it if I bash my head against a wall. I really want to dash my head against a wall. Thinking about my father and the past incidents gives me headaches. Nah, that's not that much of an alternative. I have to find another way to take my mind off things. I wish I could just forget about the whole thing.

As soon as I reach the last step Jean comes around the corner and I freeze in my motion. _Jean_ – we always used to be quite good friends I remember. But that was a long time ago. Things around here changed. We both changed. I don't know how to handle the situation. How am I supposed to react right now? I mean I can't just pretend nothing has happened, can I? After all _I _was the one to turn her in to Sinister. _Archangel_ turned her in. And not only her – I turned in _Scott_, too. That's at least what Storm told me last night. I myself can't remember much about it. I wasn't myself at that time. Sinister was in control of my mind. Ororo tried to break me the story all gingerly and gently but still…if you look at it that way…_I backstabbed my friends_. And that becomes clear to me at this very moment. I notice Jean chocking her eyebrows.

"Warren…? Are you…are you…alright?", she asks cautiously.

"Ahh….", I'm puzzled. I don't know what to answer. She doesn't seem to be angry at all. Her voice sounds soft and understanding like I remember it. I realize that I haven't said a word to her for almost two years. After the explosion we all thought she was…_dead_. And during the last week I've been at the institute I haven't had the chance yet.

"Warren…?", she asks again. This time she sounds almost a bit insecure.

Warren! Get ahold of yourself and say something!

"Uhhmm, I'm sorry, Jean…I", I raise my arm and lightly put pressure on my left temple while I try to find the right words. Then I slightly shake my head. Everything is just going wrong.

"Is everything alright?", she asks again, "Do you…do you have a headache?"

"No it's just…I'm fine…I mean…I…I…", I stammer while I try to shirk from her look. I can't even look her in the eye.

"Jean…", I start again,"…I never meant to...I mean, I'm really sorry for the things Archangel did to you – the things _I _did to you", I correct myself.

"Don't blame yourself, Warren."

"I _do _blame myself. I _should_ blame myself", I say now with a loud and confident voice. Internally I'm despairing though.

"You really should not blame yourself. I mean, it's not even your fault that –"

"It _is _my fault", I interrupt her, "I should have never gone there. They grew back. There was no need to worry", I turn my head to catch a brief look at my wings. After a short pause I continue speaking: "I should have been more patient. I should have waited to let Hank do some research on it", my voice is now calmer, "I shouldn't have run off directly to Sinister".

"You were despairing. I probably would have done the same if I had lost all my powers and Sinister made me such a compelling offer", Jean says trying to justify my – Archangel's – deeds.

I shake off her words: "Don't be ridiculous. You would have never done something like that. You know Essex – you know that he is capable of putting chips in our heads to control us. You would still have reacted sensible in a situation like that".

"What you did is all legitimate. You lost _your wings_. _Your power_. _That's_ what makes us mutants. Our powers are all our pride. Who of us wouldn't have been desperate in a situation like that?"

"But quite contrary to me you all have enough common sense to not run off to _Sinister_."

Jean sights and shakes her head.

Silence.

After a few seconds Jean tries again: "Warren, you know I'm right. You should not blame yourself…and no, I'm not angry. Don't worry about it. There is no need to feel guilty."

_Telepath._

Goddamn Telepath.  
She read my thoughts – obviously – because her being angry and me feeling guilty was exactly what I was doggedly thinking about.

"Jean, get out of my head", I say sternly. I don't like people entering my mind without permission. Not even Jean – even though I know that her intentions are all good. I'm sure she really wants to help me to get over it and get on with my life but still...that doesn't give her the right to enter my mind, does it?

What are these telepaths actually thinking nowadays? They can't just enter peoples' minds whenever they want without permission.

"I'm not even reading your thoughts. It's called _knowledge of human nature._" Jean puts on an innocent smile.

_Liar!_ I have enough _'knowledge of human nature' _and I don't need to be a telepath to know that she is lying.

Jean starts laughing.

_See?_ She must have been reading my thoughts. Why would she be laughing otherwise?

I cross my arms on my chest and give her a disapproving look. Then I join in laughing.

Good old times….

"Anyways, -", I compose myself, "I was just about to have some breakfast. You wanna come?"

Jean frowns but she still is smiling: "Warren? Have you even had a look at a clock yet? It's almost lunchtime!", she starts laughing again.

"Oh, well…", I look at her in embarrassment and run my fingers through my blond hair. I seriously didn't know that it already was that late. I mean Ororo was talking about 'having breakfast', so I thought …-

"… I guess I'm gonna have some brunch then", I complete my sentence and shrug.

Jean lets out a laugh, then looks me right in the eye – more serious than before but she's still smiling in a friendly manner. "It's good to see you are the old Warren again. We are glad to have you back at the institute".

"I'm glad you're back, too. I never thought that we would … ever see you again after the blast, you know?", I sight, "I'm glad the Phoenix force is finally under control."

"At least I hope it is. It's not taking control of me any longer at least. Do you know that Emma –?"

"Yeah, Ororo told me 'bout it", I break in.

You should know Miss Frost sacrificed herself to stop the Phoenix force from taking over Jean's body after she turned Jean in to the Inner Circle of the Hellfire Club. But she was more damage than good to the team. She betrayed the X-Men and earned her place on the team by finding Professor X on the coastline of Genosha after placing his unconscious body there. Because of her the professor still is in a coma but we're able to talk to him and he will somehow answer us from the future with the help of Cerebro.

But let's get back to Emma Frost – so during the few weeks she was on the team she schemed against the X-Men several times by making all of us think she was on our side fighting for mutant kind. None of us knew that she herself was a member of Sebastian Shaw's Inner Circle. To sum it up real quick, she got all the information she needed and access to Cerebro by pretending to be one of us and later basically kidnapped Jean on behalf of Shaw, so he could…. To be honest, I don't really know what he intended to do with her. Had something to do with the Phoenix, I guess.

After all, I must admit, that's one hell of a strategy. Credits to Frost.

Maybe Logan was right – he doubted her reliability from the very first second when she appeared at the institute's entrance. At this point we had no clue that she was behind Jean's psychic attack that caused the explosion. Man, and I was the one to encourage Logan in giving her a chance. Was I out of my mind? I was probably hypnotized that moment. Damn telepaths.

After this moment of silence Jean is the first to speak again: "I better go. Scott told me he needed help on making all the plans. You know we are going to reopen the school again in a few days. There is still a lot to plan and so many things to settle…"

"Oh, of course. You better get going then…", I say a bit disappointed she can't keep me company any longer.

"So, I guess I'll see you around", she says as she starts walking up the stairs to look for Scott.

"Yeah, see you later…", I sight and leave for the kitchen.

As soon as I've made myself a sandwich Logan enters the room. He walks past me and all he says in an unimpressed tone is: "Warren".

It's impossible for me to read his facial expression.

"Logan", is all I answer in exactly the same tone. What else am I supposed to say? I stare after him and frown as he opens the grand glass door to step onto the terrace. What was _that_ just about? I remind myself that that's just Logan's way – he always acts like that. He doesn't even need a reason to be in a bad mood.

I take my sandwich with me outside as I decide to go after him to conduct a decent conversation. Logan is smoking a cigarette on the terrace when I step out.  
"So, any news about future plans for the institute?", I ask when stepping behind him. Logan's still leading the X-Men. Alongside of Scott Summers. They decided a few months ago that it would be better to have a leader by proxy just in case Logan…scoots off again.

Wolverine and Cyclops. Bad match. The two guys on this team that seem to hate each other like poison. I don't want to put a question mark over their leadership skills – they are both great leaders indeed – but they just don't work together very well. Most of the time they are arguing but well, they still follow the same aims at least. The reason of their fights goes _much_ deeper. But that's just another story that belongs to the past. I don't know much about it and it's none of my business anyway. All I can tell is that it was about Jean, Scott's wife. He keeps on saying Logan tried to steel her from him since the very first moment they met him. But like I said:

That's not my affair.

Logan inhales another puff before he answers my question: "You gotta ask Summers 'bout that."

I nod my head. "Well, it's great to see that you are still highly motivated!", I counter mockingly.

Logan lets out a laugh that more likely sounds like a snort.

I take a bite of my sandwich and chew quietly. Logan doesn't say anything either.

After a few moments he is the one to break the silence: "I'm not sure if I'm suitable for this job. I feel like I ain't up to this."

"Logan, you have shown that you are a good leader. You made the right decisions. Xavier couldn't have made better ones. You showed that you have the skills to lead the X-Men", I tell him confidently, hopeful it will make him feel a little bit better about himself.

"Well, I think you are the only one here with that opinion. The others don't really seem to share it", Logan answers while gazing into the distance.

"Storm does, and I'm sure the others do - …"

"Ororo's always optimistic. About _everything _and_ everyone_. She believes that in every human being beats a heart of gold", he looks at me reproachfully and folds his arms.

"Okay, maybe you are right about her always being optimistic but that isn't a bad nature, is it? And I think I can speak for Storm that we have the same point of view concerning your leadership skills."

"Fine. I got the message. You and Storm. That makes two. Great. I might as well end it right now. But hell, I can't."

He sights and leans onto the railing of the terrace. Then there is a long silence. I grope for words while I finish my sandwich quietly. After what seemed like an eternity I finally break the silence:

"You know you are backed up by friends here."

Logan suddenly turns around to go back inside. While leaving he mutters something that sounds like an "I'll have to think that through" to me. I stand there baffled for a second before I follow him.

"Logan! Wait!", I shout, but Logan is already on his way to the garage - probably to get his bike.

I chase after him while I try my best to stop him from leaving by appealing through his conscious with emphasis:

"Logan! Listen! You cannot leave us right now! Not in times like these. We need you here and you promised the professor –"

"Get outta my way, Warren!", he yells at me as I block his pathway.

"What kind of role model are you when you take every chance to bolt whenever a problem gets in your way, huh?", I shout at him in anger.

"Safe your pretty face and get outta my way, bub!", Logan growls and six adamantine claws push out of the back of his hands, "I don't have an issue with using them".

I shiver at the sound of grinding metal and put up both my hands in defense.  
"I don't want to start a fight, Logan", I try to call his temper down, "All I'm saying is that you and Scott should have a talk."

"Summers and I have nothin' to talk about", Logan mutters.

I put down my arms again.

"You do. And you know that. You act like a child. Both of you do and it's nothing but ridiculous. Act your age and get over your difficulties!", I scream at Logan at the top of my voice.

"What the hell is going on here?"

I startle as a new voice arrives on the scene. Logan pulls in his metal claws.

Then he slowly turns around in annoyance and crosses his arm's recognizing it is Emma Frost who appeared just behind him.

"Are you now pulling in your horn's, Logan?", she comments mockingly on Logan retracting his claws.  
"What do you want, Frost?", he snarls.

"Well, it was _impossible_ to _not _overhear your noisy altercation so I decided to have a look at whatever is wrong", she answers flatly and reflects his movement by crossing her arms as well.

Logan's eyes narrow. "We don't need ya to butt in, Frost. We can clear this up on _our_ _own_."

"Are you really sure about that? This looked like a heated argument to me and if I understood correctly, you, Logan, were threatening our poor little Angel", she now points in my direction, "to tear him _limb from limb_".

Logan lets out a deep growl in response and turns around in anger. I still stand in the doorway of the garage – bewildered - as Logan passes me and leaves for his bike. When I already described him being angry before, he now seems to be hopping mad. Almost going up the walls.

After a few seconds I finally disentangle myself from my frozen state in which I was staring after Logan as he storms out and shout his name in a tone that expresses annoyance and desperation at the same time: "Logan!"

"Forget it. Let him go. Let him go on his own road to hell. He is such a bloody-minded animal", the woman completely dressed in white retorts and I turn around to face her.

"An animal void of humor", she adds and sighs. I'm too baffled to respond a word.

Then we hear the huge metal gate of the garage being pulled up automatically and Logan starting his machine. Neither of us says anything for a few seconds while we listen the sound of the motor slowly die away as Logan leaves the campus of the huge mansion and eventually pulls away.

Then there is a moment of utter silence. Not one of these silences when you get the chance to take a deep breath to relax but rather an awkward silence that makes you feel uncomfortable. Tensed I look at Emma and eye her up: Fair skin, platinum blond hair that slightly reaches over her shoulders, white high heels that look anything but comfortable to me. To be honest, I have never seen her without heels before and dressed in anything that wasn't white. I wonder whether she keeps anything in her wardrobe that doesn't have the color white.

Suddenly I realize her staring at me with narrowed eyes. As I shake my head lightly to bring myself back down to earth she raises an eyebrow. I wonder how long I've just stood here sizing her up. Well, now she is the one to eye me up suspiciously. She grabs her hip and her face returns to that flat facial expression that is totally unreadable. I have not even the smallest clue what she is thinking at that moment. But for sure she knows what I am thinking at the moment. _Another_ damn telepath.

I hope she got that one.

Not even a second later her lips curve up to what could be called a small smirk. A cold one – but she was definitely laughing on the inside.

"So, Warren", she starts slowly, "you're back with the X-Men?"

"Obviously. And so are you, I guess."

"To be precise, _I_ was never gone."

"Yeah? Well, as far as I heard you seemed to never really be _with us_."

"_You?_", she lets out a small laugh as the left edge of her mouth twitches a little up. Then she tilts her head slightly to the left. "Hmm, let me think about that…", she pauses for a moment and then continues speaking, "As far as I remember…the last time I saw you…_you_ were after _us_. _You, _our beloved Angel, were trying _to kill_ us – not only me but also Scott and poor little innocent Jean." One could totally tell that she thought poorly of Jean.

"I wasn't in control of my mind. I was obeying orders. _You know that!", _my voice is rising again. Our conversation is getting tempter by every second. And that all because of her sarcastic remarks.

"No need to get mad all of sudden, darling. Nobody here is going to harm you", there was a short pause before she continued, "Anyways, none of our _tiresome_ X-friends would ever dare to muster any hostility towards a _fallen_ _Angel_, would they? Hmm?". A smirk rises on her lips, twisting her face into a malicious smile. I raise my wings, angered, and spread them slightly. "I'm. Not. Broken.", I bite out, rage coloring my words red. A cruel smile slashes her face. "Tut-tut-tut.", she says condescending. "No need to be rude, darling. Didn't your mother ever teach you manners?" Then with a swish of her hair, and the turning of her hips, she elegantly strides up the stairs.

Leaving behind a fuming angel.

* * *

**Author's Note****:**

Bright and shiny! That's what the X-Men are hoping the future is like - but is that really what future will be offering them? We'll have to wait and see how it develops...

First of all, I want to thank my great beta-reader _A Rabid Fan_ for helping me to improve the story. You are great! Thanks to you the first chapter turned out the best it could have.

So, this is my first fanfic and this is just the first chapter and so the beginning of the story. Feel free to review. That would help me a lot since I'm not really sure yet if this fanfic is interesting enough to continue and if you guys out there actually want to read about something like a second season of Wolverine and the X-Men based on some events that actually happened in the original comics mixed with some completely new ideas.

After watching the first season (it was sooo great! Why did they cancel it?!) I was so disappointed they didn't broadcast the second season they'd actually planned (I'm still kinda crying about that). So I thought to myself: 'Why not think of a possible sequel on your own - with just a little imagination it could work - and write a fanfic about it?

So this fanfic is supposed to tie on to the first season. Well, sort of. Like I said, I'm trying my best to mix it with some comic AUs and my own imagination. I might also bring up some new pairings. I'm not sure yet – but like I said before: We'll have to wait and see how it , I would love to hear what you think about that, so please review! :) Any first impressions? I hope you enjoyed the first chapter!

And I forgot to mention: This fanfic is written from Warren's POV (as you probably already noticed if you read the first chapter) since he is one of my favorite characters and I just love to write about his background story and his development from Angel to Archangel back to Angel. So I thought it would be kinda fun :) I hope you like it and don't expect too much from me because as I already mentioned: this is my first fanfic and I'm not that experienced yet...

_Em_


	2. Chapter 2: Autumn of life

**Chapter 2**

**Autumn of life**

* * *

"I realise there's something incredibly honest about trees in winter, how they're experts at letting things go."

~ Jeffrey McDaniel ~

* * *

I shuffle my feet and kick a small stone in anger. I'm still enraged about the controversy with Frosty a few hours ago. What the hell did she mean? I am _not_ a fallen Angel. I kick another stone. I'm furious. Who does she think she is to interfere in my business? She should rather care about herself and her problems. She seems to have quite many. I stop at the edge of the cliff behind the institute and take a deep breath to calm my mind.

Sure, I might have done some things wrong in the past months but hey – even Jean says that it was not my fault. She probably has the best reasons to hate me after what I have done to her, Scott, and pretty much the whole team, and still she is the one to encourage me to believe that it was not my fault but Sinister's.

It wasn't my fault. It definitely wasn't my fault.

And this is the exact moment I realize the problem: They all talked me into believing that. Believing that it was _not_ my fault: Ororo, Jean, Logan, Hank, even the Professor.

I mean, this morning _I_ believed _myself_ that it all wasmy fault, then Jean emerged and we had this conversation that seems to completely have changed my mindset, and now I basically…to be honest, I don't know what to believe in right now.

But now, regarding the situation from a different angle…. Maybe Frost is not that wrong after all. Maybe she is even right. Her words make so much sense now. She is able to see the situation from a much more objective point of view, a different perspective – she is able to evaluate the position much better because _she_ _herself_ never really was involved. And I was just too stupid to realize that. God, I feel embarrassed now. Damn it! I throw my hands up in despair and close my eyes. All the time they were encouraging me because they wanted me to feel welcome at the institute in my desperate situation. They wanted me to feel _part of the team_ and not to feel sorry for myself all day. They felt a certain _responsibility_ to do so because I used to be _their friend_. Because _I_ managed to bring up the money they needed to rebuild the institute. They believe they can't abandon me because of that. They think they owe that to me.

Indeed, it must be just like that. It makes everything fall into place: Their strange excessive friendly behavior, their concerns and their caring in general. For sure it's all just pretended. Just make believe. It seemed conspicuous to me from the very first day I came to the institute. Then why didn't I notice that coherence earlier? Why did it take Emma Frost to open my eyes? God, I can't believe I'm actually saying this right now but Emma Frost _is_ right. They had a bad conscience, so they accepted me on the team. Why would Frost even lie to me about something like that? She has no reason to do so; we hardly know each other. She has no reason to pay me back either 'cause I never offended her – at least not intentionally. And - in addition even - she _is_ a _telepath_. She knows what's going on in peoples' minds. And I don't really class her as a telepath that respects others privacy boundaries. Hah! If someone knows what my dear teammates think of me, it's her.

I abandon these thoughts for a second and try to find an aspect that could prove the opposite. I really want to prove her wrong.

My mind wanders: They treated me like I was one of them, like I was part of the team…accepted and respected.

I affect a laugh and open my eyes – they never meant it though. Get back to reality, Warren! How could they? I betrayed them. I am no better than Emma Frost. The only difference between her deed and my one is that she got to compensate hers by sacrificing herself to the phoenix force. I never did something like that though. And in fact, her plan didn't really work out while I actually _did_ turn Jean and Scott in to Sinister so he could experiment with their genes. Wow, that actually kinda makes me _worse_ than Emma Frost. I shake my head and mumble: "Hell, I'm worse than Frost."

Out of nowhere a voice appears behind me: "You are not, Warren."

I turn around startled.

"How do you even come to a presumption like that?", the familiar voice belonging to Ororo continues. I must have been so immersed in my thoughts that I didn't hear her sneaking up behind me.

I look down abashed.

I move my lips to reply something but no sound is coming out. I don't even know what to answer. I'm so tired of arguing all the time. I know the truth now. Why discuss it any further?

I shake my head in despair and try again. This time I manage to stammer something like "Ororo, see…I feel like I don't really belong here. Maybe I should just go –".

Ororo doesn't even let me finish my sentence and cuts me off sharply. That's something she doesn't do too often. Usually she is the patient one here. But it seems like she is tired of listening to my complaints and tired of arguing with me as well and wants to make her point as fast as possible.

"Running away is no solution. You cannot change what happened. Sometimes we just have to go head first into future. That is how life works. Right now you might find yourself caught in a rut, but there are better times on the horizon. You will see. In a few weeks you will feel a lot better." She smiles at me confidently.

There is a brief pause before I counter: "That sounded really cheesy, you know that?"

My mouth forms a broad grin and Ororo can't hold a laugh back.

"Oh Warren…"

A moment later I sigh and the sad look on my face returns. "I just got the feeling that the others only accept me out of pity", I start, "I don't really belong to this team. I never did."

Ororo doesn't answer immediately this time. She seems to be preparing the words she is about to say carefully.

I continue before she can reply a word: "Emma Fros – ".

She interrupts me again; this time in the middle of a word even. I hope that doesn't get a habit now. It's annoying as hell.

"Don't compare yourself to Emma Frost." Ororo looks me deep in the eye. I can see the concern in hers. "You have nothing with her and her actions in common", she goes on.

"She did betray the X-Men just like I did…sorta."

"What a comparison! Warren, listen. Emma did betray us of her very own accord. It was _her plan_ to do so from the very first moment she arrived at the institute. _You_, however, _were controlled_ by Sinister. It weren't your own intentions to do so. You are a _good_ guy, Warren. You are one of us."

"How can I be a good guy? I didn't even get to make it up to you. Emma whereas got to compensate her deed by sacrificing herself in the end."

"Emma did indeed show regret eventually, and that and her new developed motivation are pretty much the reasons why she is still on the team. But you, Warren - nobody expects you to make it up to us. You never did anything wrong. You were in a coma-like state. You were just following orders.", there is another moment of silence and Ororo steps forward to reach out for my hands. She squeezes them lightly and continues speaking: "You were always part of the team - even at times when you still lived with your father. You are one of us, Warren. Nobody here would want you to leave. _I_ wouldn't want you to leave…".

I take a deep breath and clothe my face in smiles. Ororo is really good at arguing conclusively. She should be a debate teacher, I think to myself.

"I have to admit – you really know how to make one feel better".

Ororo raises a smile. She seems to be deeply content now.

"So, you do feel better now?"

"A bit. I don't feel like leaving the team anymore. Not for now."

"See – that wasn't so hard, was it?"

I give her a questioning look.

"I just wanted to hear you say it", she explains, "Now snap out of it!"

She lets go of my hands and steps closer to the edge of the cliff. I follow her slowly and stand next to her. Ororo closes her eyes and tilts her head back to enjoy the gentle breeze. I do the same and try to relax for a moment. I try to concentrate on everything around me, I try to absorb the surroundings with my senses: The sweet scent of the salty sea air, the repetitive rhythm of waves crashing to the shore far below. In the distance I hear the cries of the seagulls. I feel a balmy breeze blowing through my hair and the feathers of my wings. I draw a deep breath in…and breathe out leisurely again…releasing the tension in my muscles a bit more with every breath. The air around me is moist and warm. It is a regular day in the state of New York in September. The leaves will soon be changing color and falling. I open my eyes slowly. The sun now looks like a huge luminous red fireball sinking slowly into the ocean, but the daylight still lingers in the air as if accidentally left behind. The wide color spectrum of the clouds ranges from bright orange to fiery crimson, spectacular maroon to soft pink, before turning into majestic purple - announcing the oncoming night.

I absorb the last warm sunbeams of the day and gaze into the distance. I feel like I'm absorbing the sun's power and all its strength, its power caressing my very soul. This whole sensation reassures me that I can make it to another day, that I can set my life back on track again if I finally start embracing the idea that this is the not the end but the beginning of another chapter in my life. I need to stop thinking the glass is half empty and realize that it is half full. I need to start concentrating on the positive aspects again and react to the positive sides of life, the things that make me happy, the things I used to enjoy.

I want to revert back to being the old Warren again, the Warren I was back in my teenage days when the Professor first recruited me, the Warren that didn't worry about anything as abstract as the future, the Warren that took each day as it came. What am I saying? I was completely foolish and reckless back then! Why on earth would I want to go back to that?

But then again, I didn't have a care in the world, and life had not become that complicated yet in those days.

I tell myself to put the misery of the past behind me and turn my attention back to the natural world around me again. It seems to help. Now keep focused, Warren.

The sun is now sinking fast. It is only a matter of seconds before it completely disappears below the horizon. The ocean surface, however, still shimmers with the dancing beauty of floating diamonds. Time stands still, the moment is magical. My heart stops beating for a single second.  
Ororo steps closer and reaches out for my arm. "This is one of the most beautiful sunsets I've ever seen", I mumble.

"It's overwhelming, isn't it? When watching it, standing on the top of the cliff, one can easily get the feeling of being on top of the world."

I nod silently in answer.

The sun finally disappears, along with its brilliance, but the beauty of the moment lingers on. I catch sight of a single star in the distance, a few seagulls still wheeling above our heads. Not long now and they will be seeking their nests, knowing the day has come to an end, and huddle up together in natural harmony with their loved ones. I watch them and sigh. How I envy them. I wish I could just pull my body up into the sky and fly whenever and to wherever to my heart's content. I step aside from Ororo and closer to the edge of the cliff where I look down and wonder whether 50 yards are enough to gain sufficient momentum. For a single moment, the urge to throw myself off the cliff almost overcomes me. But then again, I'm sure Ororo wouldn't appreciate that. I turn my head in her direction and glance at her vaguely. Her facial expression confirms my assumption. She looks deeply shocked, like she knows what I'm about to do. Yup, she certainly wouldn't appreciate me boisterously jumping off the cliff.

Storm steps behind me and grabs my arm cautiously.

"I'm not going to do it. Don't worry", I confess grudgingly.

"Warren, … -", Ororo begins hesitantly.

"I know what you're about to say and I don't want to hear it. I'm tired of hearing it all day long! Just _don't_ say it, okay? I am myself well aware of the fact that I am not strong enough yet, that I am too_ weak_. That I need some more time to recover, that I am _useless_ until I am completely recovered. For the damn last time, I _don't_ need people telling me that!", I burst out in anger and tear away from Ororo.

I clench my fists and walk a few feet along the edge of the cliff. Then I turn around and face Ororo, who is still standing at the edge of the cliff, more insecure than before with her arms clasped around her chest. I feel horrible now. Why am I venting my frustration on Storm? She did nothing wrong. All of this isn't her fault. It's nobody's fault, to be honest.

I walk back to her and touch her shoulder. "I'm sorry 'Ro. I shouldn't be taking this out on you."

She turns around to face me and looses the clasp of her chest. "It's alright, Warren. I know how you feel", she gives me an understanding smile. In that exact moment, I notice how beautiful her smile is and how much I've missed seeing it during the last six months. I love it when she smiles, how her lips twitch up and how her eyes sparkle when she does so. I love seeing her smile. Now I feel even worse for loading her with all my problems that cause her to take on this concerned mien.

Ororo interrupts my thoughts: "I know how much you would love to take to the air right now after all this time without your wings." She sure knows what it's like to be up in the air. To watch everything from above, from the perspective of a bird. The feeling of watching over everybody from far above the clouds. Ororo has always been the only one on the team who was able to understand me concerning this matter. And she knows how much I must miss this. And I do. Oh, I do miss it terribly.

"I keep on telling myself that it's only a few more days. But that doesn't really put my mind at rest. Quite contrary rather it makes me all jittery and wired up. And you know, when I see a bird flying up there", I take a pause and glance up to the sky, "it leaves me restless somehow."  
Ororo gives a slow nod: "Even though I've never been forced to stay on the ground this long, I can imagine it."

"First everything tightens inside of my body. A feeling as if I'm being suffocated and then I feel like I'm about to explode. Just like a living time bomb. I can't even describe it. I think I'll go insane if I stay down here any longer."

There's a moment of silence. Ororo looks up to the sky, which has now turned dark violet and announces the approaching nightfall. In the distance I can still hear some of the seagulls' cries but the sound of the breaking waves drowns most of them.

I make a gesture towards the dark sky: "Can't wait to get back up there again with you."

"Just wait a few more days, Warren."

I confidently draw myself up to my full height, look Ororo deep in the eyes with sincerity and extend a hand to grasp her right hand ever so gently. I make a slight bow and imply a kiss on her hand. I put it down gingerly again while I gradually straighten up. "Well, may I have the first dance at least when it's nearer the time?", I say playfully in perfect sincerity while pulling her gently closer to my body by her waist. I smirk when she looks to the ground in embarrassment. After a second she looks up smiling. She is not that much smaller than me – only an inch or so, I assume.

"A part of you is never going to change, Warren", she lets out a breath of a laugh and frees herself slowly from my grip.

"Just promise me to take it slow at first and not to rush into it", she continues, still smiling abashedly, "you need to take it one step at a time. Build up some strength first before taking it any further."

"I will. I promise", I put my hand on my heart and give her an assertive smile. Ororo nods approvingly, then turns away and steps closer to the edge of the cliff again. She looks up to the sky, which is now jet-black. All the clouds have disappeared though. It is a clear night and we can see some shimmering stars, a patchwork of light, peeking out of the darkness, illuminating the moonless night.

"Did you go see Charles yet?", Ororo interrupts me before my mind even gets the chance to wander off and think about testing that new set of wings of mine.

"Not yet", I confess.

"You don't need to be scared, Warren."

"I'm sorry. Did I understand this correctly? I don't think I ever mentioned being scared", I retort indignantly.

Ororo shakes her head in disbelief and even though I can't see her face I am sure that she just rolled her eyes.

Alright. I admit I'm a tad worried about what Charles Xavier will say to me. Whether or not he'll blame me for the things I did while I was Archangel.

Okay, fine. I am as terrified as a turkey on Thanksgiving. And Ororo seems to know that - as usual. Female intuition or whatever you want to call this; fact is: Ororo got a sense for these kind of things.

"Why would he want to talk to me anyway? I bet he's busy doing more important things. Saving the future and things like that. Undoing what I messed up by helping Sinister."

"Don't let yourself down, Warren. You're only prolonging things this way."

She turns around and gives me an assuring smile: "You really should talk to him. It might help you to finally put this chapter behind."

"I'm going to go back inside. I'm a bit tired and tomorrow will be a long day involving a lot of planning for the upcoming school term and we better all rest well as long as we still have the time to do so", she adds after a pause.

"Yeah, sure. Good night", I answer being a bit sad about her leaving.

"Good night, Warren", she says walking towards the X-mansion. She turns around one last time: "And Warren…"

"Yes?"

"Think about it."

"I will. Good night", I repeat.

"See you tomorrow", she says before eventually walking off.

I take another longing look at the royal night sky and my doubts return. I know I _should_ go see the Professor but I simply _can't_. I don't even dare to face him. What will say about my trip to the dark side? There is only one thing he'll be able to say: that he is incredibly disappointed with me. I was one of the original five members of the X-Men. Shame on me. I should have know better, I should have fought Sinister instead of running off to him.

Hell, what have I become? Ororo's right. I mean, look at me: I'm too ashamed to even step up to the Professor. This is not the right time to chicken out. I'm only prolonging things here. Why can't I be courageous for one time? I've known the Professor for years and I should know better than thinking he'll give me a telling-off.

I gaze at the night sky and I spot a streak of light for a single second: A shooting star. Okay, I got it. If this isn't a clear message that I should have a talk with the Professor, then I don't know what is. After all I can make a wish now. And all I wish for is a second chance.

* * *

**Author's Note****:**

An update! Finally! Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you are having a wonderful holiday season!

There's nothing much to say about this chapter (except for the fact that it took me more than a year to write it :'D - I kinda had writer's block and a lot going on in life...). Well, anyway - I finally got myself to publish this chapter.

I know there isn't much going on in this chapter. There isn't really an actual plot (but who needs that anyway? xD Plot is overrated).

I decided to focus a bit more on Warren's character and his inner conflict concerning his past and his moving on. I feel like this is important since he has experienced so many bad things and I think he can't just move on that easily. He needs some time for reflecting what has happened to him. This is what makes a character grow, in my opinion.

This chapter is mostly an extremely long monolog (I hope it didn't bore you) and I feel like I'm not that good at writing such things (I'm more comfortable when it comes to dialogs). I need some practice at writing inner monologs about feelings and useless things as such. I think I'm terrible when it comes to writing about feelings.  
So I really would appreciate you leaving some reviews giving me your opinion how I could improve my writing style concerning inner monologs and such things.

Anyways, I'm working on chapter 3 at the time and I promise there'll be an actual storyline in it ;D

Em


End file.
